Broken

CNY FLEA

2012-01-29T01:48:00.001+08:00

REMEMBER TO COME DOWN TODAY!!! :D

X.

Friends

2012-01-27T17:38:00.001+08:00

Currently seeking a few steady pom pee pee friends who can /wanna chill 24/7/365. Abit sad that all my friends are Miss/Mr Popular that I have to set an appointment with them one month in advance just to chill. :( Smokers preferred but whatever goes. Any takers? :(

Anyways, DIYed my nails yesterday night. Not bad right hehehe!

Since I'm so sad life, boyfr not free, BFF in LA(still), I shall go MBS later to see my YSL arty ring (^~^)

Holler if you're around there! :)

Skins

2012-01-25T14:54:00.000+08:00

Can't fuckin' wait for Skins6 to be out.

Day 1 CNY

2012-01-24T12:54:00.001+08:00

Random pictures from yesterday and what I used to create the look for today. Will post a picture of my OOTD if I get the chance to! (: Win loads of money friends!

X.

CNY

2012-01-23T11:37:00.001+08:00

Couldn't decide between the Lita and the Clinic this morning. But decided to go ahead with the Clinic because the dress I'm wearing is simplicity at its finest. Need some oomph to my outfit, if you know what I mean ^v^

So with that, here's wishing everyone a mega Happy New Year and may the year of ze Dragon bring us all fortune, happiness and wealth (hehehehehehe).

X.

Pre-CNY

2012-01-19T00:47:00.001+08:00

Chinatown with thfolks after work two days back. Mad hot, mad packed, mad crazy! But owells, CNY spirit hur?~

Saturday before stayover at J's house was coffee with the twinnie! (^v^) Cho happy ok! So long no see her :D Had thai food at Orchard Towers for dins and off to AMK. :D

Random pictures from random times in January. Hows 2012 so far? Mine's mediocre at best. Sucks when it comes to work. 11Feb SIA? zzz tired of trying though. But 5 Feb is steamboat with the teammies!!! :D OMG SO EGGCITES ^^ DEVLINS~~~ hehehehe

okok abrupt ending, bye.

formspring.me

2012-01-09T23:55:00.001+08:00

Ask me questions about anything at all ^^ http://www.formspring.me/jolenequek

2012-01-09T23:41:00.000+08:00

I still feel that my red eyes are quite creepy :S LOL. But I'm not gonna waste Jora's $$$ ): Actually once you get used to it, its pretty cool what right!! :D

I went back t read my past entries in 2009, and I.. didn't feel a tinge of sadness. Quite sad actually. I took more than a year to get over everything. But all's well ends well, look where I am now \(^~^)/ My boyfr so cute hehehehe :P And he dotes on me, and loves me so much hehehe what a lucky girl!

So all my friends and people reading this line now, life may seem like a fat bitch on crack right this moment; but always believe that everything happens for a reason, and good things fall apart so that better things can come together. Cheerups all!

X.

谢家明

2012-01-04T01:58:00.000+08:00

"If you ever leave me baby.
Leave some morphine at my door.
Cause it will take a whole lot of medication;
To realise what we used to have,
I don't have it anymore.

..so keep in mind all the sacrifices I'm makin',
will keep you by my side,
will keep you from walkin' out the door.

..for you I'll try, I'll try, I'll try.
I'll pick up these broken pieces till I'm bleeding,
if that'll make you mine.

Cause there'll be no sunlight, if I lose you baby.
There'll be no clear skies, if I lose you baby.
Just like the clouds, my eyes will do the same;
If you walk away,
everyday it will rain.."

Even if one day I'm left with nothing, just as long as I have you, I have everything. <3

2012

2012-01-02T13:17:00.001+08:00

Spent NYE having breakfast for dinner at Wild Honey. Welcomed the NY at Avatar's entrance.

2011 was a great year, minor hiccups along the way, but twas good nonetheless. I can only hope that in 2012, we can all accomplish the things we wanted to achieve in 2011 but somehow we couldn't. I hope 2012 brings happiness to all whom matters to me, and that we don't die on 21 December 2012, LOL. Have a great 2 Jauary gaise!

NYE 2011

2011-12-31T01:30:00.001+08:00

Was supposed to do facial today, but it turned out to be a consultation only. Got a booklet from Beauti Instinct on the diet dos and donts for blood group B+. Apparently chicken, pork, canola oil, avocado, tomatoes and etcetera are like 'poison' to my body. :'( How to eat you tell me.

Lucky for me though, Loo and Zoe were in town. Met them at FEP and then to Somerset to meet Mr and Mrs Armstrong. Days with them are never dull :D Finally bought me DMs! Maybe I should really consider selling my cherry red DMs. Any takers? ;)

Came home to my Sunettes from Carte Blanche X :D Happy girl, but I got to stop spending :x easily spent 4 digits this month oh God :x

Christmas \(^o^)/

2011-12-20T23:41:00.001+08:00

On the way home, right now. After spending one thousand million gabajillion on skincare from Kiehls and makeup from Benefit (gonna convince myself this sad face of mine has some sort of salvation), I decided I'm gonna start early this year, and make some Christmas resolutions! :D

1. DON'T BE LAZY. Gotta start making my money worth! For all I know, those over the counter brands, i.e. Hada Labo is very effective in improving my skin condition, just that I'm wayyyyyy too lazy to keep to any form of skincare regimes. So yep, now that I have spent so much on Kiehls. Time to be more hardworking. /nods.

2. DRINK MORE WATER. If you interact with me often enough, you'd realised that I barely/hardly consume any H2O. The rare occasions where I do drink water, is when the day is super duper crazy mad hot and there ain't apple juice around. HA! So yeps, no matter how good my skincare routine is, no water = no good for skin.

3. DON'T BE LAZY; PT. II I love buying unique clothes and crazy heels and boots. But, like MOST Singaporeans, I am so ~~chapalang~~ casual that I would fall back to the same old' typical any laidback top/tank with denim shorts and flipflops, /yawns. Boring ain't it? Gotta start being adventurous and confident enough to wear right! And look good ;P

4. CURB MY EXPENDITURE. This is sad. :( Anyone else feels that they need to spend? Like I need to buy something new. To feel better. Oh god Imma shopperholic. :x I think the subheading says it all. :x Maybe limit myself to splurging on one thing per month.

I guess that's for all for now. FOR NOW. HEH.

Goodnight world :*

2011-12-17T11:32:00.005+08:00

Canon G12 is some awesome shitzx. i don't really know how to use every single functions yet but I asked J to teach me ^^ One day we'll go out with his Lumix and he'll teach me ^^

Finally booked an appointment with Deon from The Daily Dozen on the 23rd for my next ink. Pretty excited heh. So I will blog after that with my old and spankin' new tatt :P

Till then, have an awesome Sunday~

2011-12-15T15:13:00.002+08:00

HI GAISE!

S'been awhile since I've been here. Ever since I upgraded my iPad to iOS5, Blogpress kept crashing, and I don't really use my laptop anymore soooo, no posts. Bloody waste of my US$4.99 if you ask me. Blogpress better fix that bug!

Anyhoo, loads to update, like Zoukout 2011 with boyfr and BFF and all me loves <3. But I shall wait for that slow pig to upload the photos on FB before I grab them ^^

I just got my Canon G12, so I figured I got more reasons to blog eh? :D

I was thinking of doing a post on tattoos hehe :P Anyone anywhere wants to get their first tatt, don't know how don't know where to do? Hehehe stay tuned for more details! $^^ $

Okiedokey! Still at shit work now, gots to go~ Toodle dooo folks ^^

2011-11-14T14:02:00.001+08:00

Test test if .gif works, buy the app "Gif shop" from Apple; easy to use on the iPad, but I can't seem to load the .gif image anywhere else except Tumblr! >:( They got to figure that out!

2011-11-10T15:35:00.001+08:00

Seriously, fuck #moneywoes.

I need to stop all this want.

I need to start planning for the future.

But then again, why can't I have everything?

2011-10-31T19:13:00.001+08:00

..but it ain't fair to everyone.

2011-10-25T01:39:00.001+08:00

Insomnia on some nights. Not that I'm not tired. But too many thoughts being jam packed in my mind.

Typed a whole chunk, looked at it, and clicked on backspace.

Take caution, if you're really emotional, don't listen to Katy Perry's single "The one that got away". Really gets under your skin.

Better force myself to get some rest. Work as usual tomorrow. Nights.

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2011-10-04T14:24:00.003+08:00

Jin chio wor o.O

Mega best, I love this shoe! )': Anybody wants to sponsor me for my 21st? /salivates

So many expensive things I want, so little moneh, how? /pouts.

2011-10-03T08:38:00.001+08:00

You're the echoes of my everything.
You're the emptiness the whole world sings tonight.
You're the laziness of afternoon.
You're the reason why I burst and why I bloom.
You're the leaky sink of sentiment.
You're the failed attempts I never could forget.
You're the metaphors I can't create to comprehend this curse that I call Love.

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2011-09-23T10:30:00.001+08:00

Earlier this week, I was having some sort of quarter life crisis. Feeling all frustrated with how my life is turning out and feeling like while everyone is on their way to their dream lives and here I am, still trying to figure out.

Like Annie in Bridesmaid, her life just came spiraling down; business failure, relationship stagnancy, it didn't help that her BFF was getting engaged and someone else was vying for her BFF's attention.

It's evident in the movie that everyday she wonders why isn't anything going right. But soon Megan comes in, and tells her to stop moping around and "be your own solution".

That scene, is an inspiration.

Many a times in my life I wonder and think, in so many ways my life could be better. While everyone is on further studies which is sponsored by their parents, I got to be out working. While everyone gets their stuff so easily because their parents can afford it, I got to slog it out for a few weeks just to get the same damn thing. While people seem to just get what they want so fucking easily, I just can't seem to get one damn thing right.

But then I realised.

Rather than spend the whole time wallowing in self pity, I can be my own solution.

I whine about further studies, but am I doing something about it? Nope.

I whine about having to slog. But without slogging, will I appreciate what I already have?

I constantly feel like I'm eating so much and it affects my waistline, but am I doing anything? Once again nope. I eat without caring, so who am I to blame?

Seriously, it's high time that I stop all these negative thoughts and whining because I could do much more constructive stuff as long as I start to take charge.

Come on everyone, gambatte together! :D Have a good Friday!

PS: HAPPY 22nd BFF @shufat (:

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2011-09-22T19:44:00.000+08:00

WTF is she like so fucking angsty about? LOL >:o

2011-09-22T00:46:00.005+08:00

If you ever ran out of movies to watch, even if you've watched it before, try this

I cried so hard at the end, as always. Even 200 pounds beauty didn't get me that hard for the Daddy scene :'(

Just in case some of you haven't watched this show before, its about a grandson who's raised in the urban city, living with his grandmother in the rural area for a period of time. Initially he was disrespectful, ignorant and absolutely detestable! But soon his grandmother, who's mute, manages to warm his heart. :'( \

So so so saddddd!!!

I love this show so much because I have a soft spot for the elderlys. I miss my ah ma too :'(

2011-09-21T12:48:00.001+08:00

Lately I've been trying to pull off the centre parting look. My fringe grew to that awkward length whereby I can't put them to the side as they were too short for that yet too long to remain as bangs. Having mixed response to my centre parting, but I'm cool 8)

As mentioned on my Facebook, I went for my hair treatment at Mine's Salon recently. Do visit them if you are looking for cheap and good hair services! My stylist is Jerry ^^

Mine's Salon
14 Scotts Road
Far East Plaza
#04-09

On another random note, out with BFF last Friday :D hehe camwhoring with the iPad at Ion toilet :P

Ok, promise I'll post something substantial :P

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Hehe :$

2011-09-19T10:42:00.004+08:00

Makeup 101 YOUR HEAD :P from Jolene Quek on Vimeo.

Out of sheer boredom, I made some makeup routine shit I do on most days before work, pat-tor and stuff. Hehe, only watch if you're bored. I didn't talk throughout cause I shy :$ HAAHAHAHHAA! Those super pro with makeup please spare me your ridicule :/

Final look?

Close up. I know my camera sucks la hor, unless you wanna sponsor me one for my 21st if not stfu.

Webcam picture right before I wenta change hehe :P

Voila! Natural lighting! :D

I know makeup supposed to cover up my imperfections but seeing the condition of my forehead, I didn't wanna pile up too much chemicals lest it becomes worse. Sooooo, :D

Ok, talk to yall soon MUACKS :D <3

2011-09-13T16:27:00.002+08:00

Got to fucking stop procrastinating. And get my fucking life together.

2011-09-02T14:52:00.002+08:00

Quite depressing to know that while others breeze through their lives, I find obstacles EVERYFUCKINGWHERE.

I'm not asking for much, I'm not saying I want everything to be served on a silver platter to me. But at least, let me fucking accomplish something can? Especially when I tried so hard and want it so fucking badly!

2011-08-27T05:25:00.001+08:00

Nobody's gonna love me better. I must stickwitu forever.

Thanks for staying up baby, I love you so much Jeremy <3

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2011-07-31T01:49:00.001+08:00

If only I was prettier, life would be easier. If only I was richer, life would be easier. If only I was smarter, life would be easier. But that would me me less me, no? Idk. But I really question myself sometimes.

20, and still stuck at a crossroads with no idea whats next. I really want to give SIA a shot, but I feel like Life is just not giving me a chance. When I'm able to progress far in the interview, I can the boot at the second last stage. When I have the confidence to try again, knowing that I have it in me, they give me the boot at height check when I am definitely eligible. I'm tired of trying, tired of rejection. When will it be my turn, to have it all? To have everything, to have the world under my feet? Just doomed to lead a mediocre life, die like I've never lived before?

No.

This is my life. I decide when I want to quit. 27 August. Come what may.

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2011-07-28T22:36:00.001+08:00

Definitely coming down with a flu. :( sandpaper throat and leaky faucet nose. Dayummmmm. Since Monday, I haven't seen my seen my boyfr :( stupid army. But ohwells, one week plus left till BKK! Plus BFF coming back by the end of this week hehehe :D

And my bearbear so cute hor! Sho colorful ^^ got it during Family Day at USS!! :DDD

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2011-07-22T00:13:00.001+08:00

Their voice, mostly noises.

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Stilettos and broken bottles

2011-07-18T00:59:00.001+08:00

So far away, but still so near.

I'm right over here // Why can't you see me? // I'm giving it my all // But I'm not the girl you're taking home // I keep dancing on my own.

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2011-07-16T23:36:00.001+08:00

HUULUUU

I spent my Saturday sleeping! :O woke up like super early (8am) and got down to AMK Macs for breakfast with boyfr, chilled smoked with his friends before heading back to his place to nap. And our nap turned into some sleeping beauty sleep :O

Woke up and called Dominos and Modern Family-ed and back to panjang. (Y) Too shag liao, cb Wednesday still cpf DB ToT wants to cry riao!

But OMGWTFBBQ IT'S USS THIS SATURDAYYYYY FUCK YEAHHHHHHHHH ^^

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2011-07-14T23:26:00.001+08:00

Hello stranger.

Just got home, still as shag as yesterday. Went down to Bugis after work today. Bought my flatform, OSF dress (which I was too lazy to buy it online), and my Lovemore acneallout mask! ^^

My poor baby is stuck in camp doing duty on our 9th monthsary :(

/yawns. Think I'm gonna go to bed soon! Can my BFF fly home now. Miss her max!

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Location:Bangkit Rd,,Singapore

First post from iPad ^^

2011-07-13T23:48:00.001+08:00

Teehee, sho happy with my new gadget. Just giving it a test post, cause I'm too shag from DB this afternoon. Eyes gonna close anytime now ToT

ANYWAYS Gingy reminds me that USS is next Saturday! :D Hohoho finally can sit the Battlestar Galactica since the last time B and I went was last year! ^^

Kkkayyyy gonna hit the sack now. Maybe I go drink more cloudy apple juice first. Hehe GOOONAI EVERYBARDI :D

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Location:Bukit Timah Expy,Singapore,Singapore

2011-07-03T23:32:00.001+08:00

HEELLLOOOO ^^

I have been blogging quite frequently of late haven't I? :D

Today saw me nuaaaaing with Modern Family and Dominoes :D Great way to spend Sunday imho (Y)

And whats better than masking alone? Masking with my boyfriend ^^ Soooo cute when I peeled off the mask for him, he went "cooool uh!" /nodsfervently hehehe ^^ And so cute when he tried peeling mine off for me and I went "owww" and his eyebrows furrow hehehehehe ^^

Anyways if you've ran out of tv series to follow, try Modern Family! Its like, after HIMYM family version! :D So addictive (Y)(Y)(Y)

Ok, I better get off to bed! Work tomorrow and meeting my other BFF :D:D:D

G'night world! :D

2011-06-30T00:41:00.005+08:00

Never would I thought I was this broken.

You know those times you sit around with your friends, friends of friends, and you hear them talking about how screwed up their relationships are, and you feel thankful that its not happening to you.

But that revelation you get when you hear something thats strangely familiar. Just brings you back to the past. Leaves you there with flashes and pulses of the heartbreak that you experience somewhere in the past not too far back. And suddenly you realise, everything you do, you take such caution its just so.. sad.

I'm scared to think into the future, because I did with you but look where it got me. I love Jeremy fucking shitloads. But I got to take rainchecks once in awhile, because I'm afraid he's gonna rip my heart out and smash it to the floor, just like you did. My folks never fail to remind me "don't take so serious" because they know how hurt I was last time and they don't want me to be hurt again.

Fuck. Jeremy doesn't deserve this. Fuck why. Seriously. :'(

I wish J is here right now. He always has a way to make it right. Turn my world the right side up.

"..We believed that we could change ourselves, the past could be undone. But we carry on our backs the burden. Time always reveals, the lonely light of morning, the wound that would not heal.." Fallen - Sarah McLachlan

SKINCARE

2011-06-27T01:22:00.003+08:00

When you get older, you start to pay attention to skincare > makeup. Ok, let me rephrase that. I meant, you tend to realise that you're not getting younger and that no matter how much make up you pile on, if your complexion is shit, you still look like shit and no amount of make up is ever gonna save that.

I was deciding whether to blog anot, and what to blog about. My life is seemingly boring these days its all about work work work boyfriend bestfriend work work and back to more work. /yawns. And so I thought I'd just share with.. whoever else is still reading this space of mine. I know my tumblr has some unexpected readers, I wonder who reads here o.O

So on to the main topic, I shall go according to how I'd do whatever when I'm back home from whatever LOL (*whatever is work/date/yep, whatever).

1. Make up removal

I loveeeeee this shit. I knew it before I knew www.zoeraymond.com, the blog. As in not she knew the product but more of, I knew of her blog existance. So fuck off if you think I'm trying to use her blog contents.

Anyways, I for one is a sucker for the "clean clean squeeeky clean" feel. So I hate oil based products. Which is bad cause most makeup remover out there are oil based. Which also explains why before this I remove makeup by washing my face thats all. Or I don't remove them at all since I'm so lazy. Which constitudes my badass complexion. (Y)

This water-based Cleansing Express not only removes make up, but its like a one stop 'washface+moisturiser+toner" all in one thingmajiggy. Perfect for a lazy person like me. Or any drunk girl after clubbing ^^ LOL.

2. Cure natural Aqua gel

When I bought this at Watsons, along with all the advertisements, somewhere it says "facial in a bottle". At 42 dollars for a bottle, I daresay its pretty expensive. But I thought I could try something new plus if it works, it costs cheaper than SKII which is close to 200 for a bottle :O The price women pay for beauty TSKK.

Anyways, once I tried it, I swear, after this bottle finishes Imma buy a new one. But I think I still have probably 3 months to that. And I bought it probably 3 months ago? There's still quite a lot in there. Good investment hur? Every application only requires one pump for the whole face. And you rub it all over, producing white fibre thingy. Apparently those are the dead skin cells. (Y) hehehe. Whats not to love about a product that yields visible results ^^

3. Kose Mask White
I think this product needs no explanation. Alot of girls use this and swear by its whitening capabilities. Ironic thing is the mask is black, and it has whitening properties. So cute.

And I like this product because after you apply it, it dries and you peel it off in one piece. And as you peel off, all the stuff in your clogged pores comes along with it. Like those pore strips, you can see them sticking out. Hehe. Good uh!

4. Love More Acne All Out

Xiaxue wrote an advertorial/review on this product. Its pretty good. Works the same way as Mask White. In a sense you apply and peel it off. But one thing I wanna rave about? The Sebum Softener aka Step One. OMG. When I first used it, I was so amazed. You're supposed to apply it all over your clean skin and massage for one minute and wash it off. After you wash it off, your face just feels so smooth and soft!! Machiam do facial for 2 hours kinda feeling! All for 19.90!! :D:D:D

5. Follow me O2 bubble mask

Sad to say, I'm not a huge fan of this product. I bought it during the bubble mask craze. It was all over the net, how Nu Ren Wo Zui Da was talking about it. But the real deal, I don't know what brand, was freakinggg expensive! It was sold at Sasa so you can check out the price there I think 100plus? Crazy expensive. So this was retailing at 20plus, so I thought I could try some bubbles on my face.

After applying it, it takes damn long for all the bubbles to disappear. Damn annoying since the instructions were to wash off only after all the bubbles have appeared and disappear. In a typical singaporean girl's life, I highly doubt we have so much time to sit around waiting for foam to slowwwwly subside. Easily takes half an hour to finish foaming up. And after that, its an absolute BITCH to wash off!! So I only use this like once a month or so when I feel like it. Since its too time consuming and too difficult to wash off imho.

6. Hada Labo super Hyaluronic Acid hydrating lotion

Love love love this! I was looking for a toner at (yes again) Watsons and saw the advertisement. One drop locks up an ocean REALLY? Awesome. Yet another awesome awesome AWESOME product you can find in Watsons.

Its really good cause it really moisturises your skin. But the trick to this is you gotta pat it in. I realise it works better when you pat it in as compared to putting in on a cotton pad and wiping it on. During those days when I was really dilligent, after using this for a week or two (with No. 2 & No. 8) My complexion was ahmayzing! :D

7. Hada Labo super hyaluronic acid Moist Essence EX

Since the lotion was so effective, I decided to up the skincare routine and got the concentrated version (I think) of the lotion. I got the serum thingy. I've only been using it for a week so I'm still undecided about it. Will update yall (whoever is reading this) if its good and worth the buy ^^

8. Etude House Sleeping Pack

This sleeping mask is damnnnnn good! As mentioned above, using it with other products listed above dilligently really made my complexion super soft and clear! And the good thing is this is pretty cheap! Like 12.90 if I didn't get it wrong for such a huge pack! (: Save your money, rather than getting those 3 for 10 mask from Faceshop, get this! :D

And so I've come to the end of this post. My proper post in a long while hur! So sleepy now (Y) Work tomorrow, guess I'm gonna hit the sack now^^ Hope I recommended some good buys to yall! :D

2011-06-18T23:47:00.004+08:00

Felt like I was the worst girlfr ever yesterday. I promised J that I won't drink so much, that I'd takecare of myself. But I ended up at his doorstep, stumbling into his arms at 2am. I asked him,"baby are you mad?" He said he was a little.

I disappoint him time and time again. ): He knows how to takecare of himself when he's out. Why I can't do the same? ):

But it felt so good. Cuddling in the morning rain. Pecks and kisses. <3

I'm scared and know better than to think of the future, but I hope its him. The boy who changed for me. My sweetie <3

Sometimes Life just makes you wanna...

2011-05-04T00:21:00.003+08:00

... and stuff. Le sigh. Lets just hope Life doesn't fuck me up so bad. Is it so hard for things to go according to plan? Someone, tell me everything's gonna be alright.

Miss my long fringe, miss my long hair. HAIR, Y U NO GROW FASTER? And these past few days my neck is aching like MAD! Like I haven't been sleeping properly or Carpal Tunnel Syndrome for necks or something. ARGH!

AND IF YOU DON'T ALREADY KNOW (PFFT!) CLICK here to go to THE NEXT BIG THING (I KID YOU NOT B) ) Alternatively, go to FB and like our page "Shop Harlequin" :D

2011-04-24T22:39:00.002+08:00

... I can't promise you forever, but I love you, always. <3

2011-04-18T20:01:00.001+08:00

I fucking don't deserve this shit. I fucking don't deserve to have to OT, because I spent the whole fucking day clearing what you needed to do. YOUR JOB. And even when I tried to be mature, and clear the air, and make you understand. You don't fucking listen. All you know, all you can gather, is I'm being mean. I'm the fucker who voiced out. Who tell you in your face that ENOUGH IS ENOUGH. Fuck you ok? This is not my shit to clear. FUCK YOU.

2011-02-23T00:05:00.002+08:00

Sorry for the laoyapok quality picture. People not rich like boyfriend can buy lumix lx5! LOL. But ya. 7 days in BKK with him. So used to life with him I feel weird now! Every night we're out to "SirBumPut" and Khaosan. Clubbing at Slim and Route66, just two of us. Supper at the roadside, shopping at Platinum, movie at Siam Paragon, my boyfriend takes such good care of me I don't know what to do if one day he don't want meeee /whines.

HAHAHA. :D Love my boyfriend muamuamua! This May/July will be with him plus BFF and her plusone! CAN'T FUCKING WAIT! :D

2011-01-02T10:26:00.002+08:00

What a happening year ^^ full time job fell in love Ninjas <3

I welcome you with open arms. :D So much to be accomplished this year!

A very very vague NY Resolution list: -

Have an awesome year with J. Hope whatever we have planned goes off with a BANG! :D

2.

I don't think I need to mention this because I know it'd be good but here goes, AWESOMER YEAR WITH THE BFF. ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING IS FUN AND AWESOME WITH HER :D:D:D Wonder what I did last time that I got such a gem of a friend in her. So so so thankful <3<3<3

3.

so I'm wishing for loads of cash....

to fulfill my polaroid wall :D ...

to get loads of branded bags and purses and shoes and clothes... O.O

to party like a rockstar \m/ .....

...actually I just wanna be happy :D

But I won't mind a little of those mentioned! :D HAHAHAHAHA!

WISHING A GOOD 2011 TO ALL YOU OUT THERE~~~ MUAH! :D

2010-12-28T17:53:00.002+08:00

Everything changes once there is a status. I know in the past, all I wanted from him was give me the recognition I deserved. But just as he asked me after so long, I got a little apprehensive. I didn't want things to be different just because we were together officially. I thought he'd be something different. But everything still seems the same as others. Now I just end up feeling disappointed again. sigh. At first, it was still alright. I was so happy everything felt so surreal. But eventually things still became like stagnant. Screw expectations seriously. Yet its so hard for me to not have any. You understand what I mean?

And besides, I think I really could use a change of job. I'm sick of working here. :( My colleagues are great! But the workload is horrible! I don't like it one bit! :( Plus the festive mood is really ruined cause of work. I wanna go on holiday! :(

2010-12-06T23:45:00.002+08:00

"Was on FB and I saw this note by Lin, as in she found it somewhere on deviantart which I thought was, well WHOA. Click Please go and read it. After which, this is what I think.

Do you realize this is something that is constantly happening? ): Why? During the start of the relationship, they can promise anything. Promises to give, promises to accept, promises to always be there. And we, always so stupid and naive. Always believing. And it always turns out the same. We are always left right at the same spot, looking back and wondering just what happened. The same person, but just not so similar to the one from the past anymore. And you would give anything to have it back, you know its highly not possible, but you still hope something perhaps a miracle could happen and things would go back to how they used to be. But most of the time, miracles just don't happen. Why? Why make promises you can't keep? And after breaking those promises, you go on to others and make the same promises, what's the use? You're still going to be breaking them in the end. Sigh. Now you know why I'm so cynical and adamant that that concept of Love just don't tally with reality. Because it just, doesn't. And we have all these living proof around us to constantly remind us. Don't fall back into that shithole, Quek. Don't."

Reading back, maybe they didn't change. Maybe they were the ones who were constant. Maybe I was the one who changed. Oh foolish me.

2010-12-06T11:01:00.002+08:00

Wahhh madchio.com. Made a note, SF Varina Flats I will come to you when I have lots of money. Booya 420 USD, madex.com too. :(

Ohmygosh, I've become such a brand whore. :( Now Agnes b, Longchamp and Kate Spade is not enough! :( I'm craving some Chanel Gucci Prada and Salvatore Ferragamo! And not forgetting my Balenciaga. /drools.

Pretty PRETTY OMFG PRETTY BAGS! :D

2010-11-14T02:26:00.002+08:00

I miss the past so much I think I can cry. But, things don't just go back to where they were just because I want them to.

Don't get me wrong. I'm happy with where my life is now. I'm happy with Jeremy. He makes me happy. He's sweet. He's everything and anything I could ask for. :) My best friend is awesome too. Despite everything thats happened, we still have each other. <3

But I just don't know. I miss being carefree as a student. Working does have its pros, in a way that my spending power has increased and all. But life's not all about money. And.. I really don't know what it is, but something's missing. And I wanna know what. :(

2010-10-10T01:45:00.003+08:00

"Most of the time, its just too difficult, or too expensive, or too scary. Its only once you've stopped that you realise how hard it is to start again. So you force yourself not to want it. But its always there. And until you finish it, it'll always be..." - HIMYM, S06E03.

I still don't know what exactly 'we' are, but I know for sure now that what 'we' have, is real. (: Its gonna be an awesome journey. <3

Besides that, I think my life has reached stagnancy. Is that even a word? Like every single day, routine work. Crazy amount of workload. But super nice colleagues who dote on me :D But wahhhh, I totally don't envision myself slogging my whole life away there. :( I want something new, something refreshing, something more to what I like! But life's never fair isn't it? You can't have everything you like. Booooooo.

Sorry Alvin I blogged very little, its 2:07am and this is a shoutout to youuu! :D Brain barely functioning already.

And with that GOODNIGHT/MORNING WORLD!

Fashion: My 2 cents

2010-09-14T12:32:00.002+08:00

credits: http://www.thesartorialist.blogspot.com/

Took a day off work today because I was just too tired from all the late nights doing nothing constructive. And besides, I brought work home so I thought 'why not just stay home and do them?'

Before I start, I must bring up the events of last Saturday. Was at Far East with the boy. Just got my pay, and recently I just couldn't decide what to wear. My wardrobe's sort of bursting; yet that still happened. I hate it! So I thought maybe I could use a little shopping.

But what the heck! I walked the whole shopping centre and I still couldn't find one piece of fabric, ANY TYPE AT ALL, that could render me speechless. Back in the days, I could find countless outfits but no money to fund them; now I can't find anything at all.

After that two rounds of aimlessly weaving in and out of stores performing touch and go-s, we left the shopping centre. I told the boy, "damnnn, I forgot how to shop."

This moment, I have been dreading the coming of this moment. And I think this happens to most Singaporean girls. Settling into the comfort of comformity. Cause looking back at that 'shopping trip', I did chanced upon a few articles that I would have bought without blinking last time, but now I just let it go. Its as though I'd rather buy something that everyone's wearing now over something that I like/more 'me'.

Its so sad. I feel sad.

What happened to me? I'm morphing into one of those street cats. All looking like the other. And lazy at that.

Which brings me back to how I'm browsing http://www.lookbook.nu/ and http://www.thesartorialist.blogspot.com/ instead of doing my work. :x

I shall be hardworking and not lazy from now onwards. I wanna feel confident again! >:(

Time to:

Not eat so much; office job has made me chubbier! :(:(:(
Invest in a fitted blazer; Zara, Topshop, anywhere else?
Invest in shoes; how can I not realise this earlier, no more "slippers with anything"

Black wedges
Nude pump

Ehh, I'll add in more when I think of them :x

NOW ON TO WORK! :D

FUCKERS OF THE WORLD ALL GO AND DIE. DIE MOTHERFUCKERS I REALLY HOPE YOU DIE

2010-09-13T13:44:00.003+08:00

SERIOUSLY YOU KNOW, THIS MOTHERFUCKER AH. I REALLY REALLY HOPE, FROM THE BOTTOM OF MY HEART, THAT YOU'LL DIE A SLOW AND EXCRUCIATINGLY SLOW DEATH. I AM DOING YOU A FAVOUR, BY APPEALING FOR YOU. YOU DON'T SHOW ME ATTITUDE. DON'T TELL ME THIS CHEAT MONEY THERE CHEAT MONEY. YOU TELL ME FOR WHAT FUCK. I AM WORKING FOR THE COMPANY. I AM NOT THE COMPANY. SO DON'T TELL ME. IF YOU REALLY KNOW LHL THEN ASK HIM TO PAY YOUR O.M. FOR YOU. DON'T APPEAL LA CCB. HATE THIS KIND OF PEOPLE. NEED PEOPLE HELP STILL WANNA SHOW ATTITUDE. IN THE FIRST PLACE I CAN JUST KEEP REJECTING YOU. YOU WANNA COME HERE AND LOOK FOR ME ALSO HARD. FUCKER. SOMEMORE SAY I ANYHOW SAY YOU THREATEN ME. HELLO YOU WANNA HOLD PRESS CONFERENCE IF WE DON'T APPROVE YOUR CASE THATS NOT THREATENING MEH? FUCK YOUR LAN YOU CCB. SERIOUSLY. SO WHAT IF YOU WERE A MILLIONAIRE BEFORE. KEYWORD: WERE. YOU WERE. NOW NOT. NOW YOU NEED OUR HELP. SAY I SUCK YOUR BLOOD BY ASKING FOR MORE DOCUMENTS. OK LOR. WHATEVER CRAP DOCUMENT YOU SEND ME I JUST USE. YOUR CASE NOT SOLID ENOUGH TO PROVE KENA REJECTED ALSO YOUR LOSS. YOU HAVE TO PAY, NOT ME. SERIOUSLY. GOD, PLEASE TAKE THIS MOTHERFUCKER AWAY FROM EARTH, THE WORLD. HE DON'T EVEN BELONG TO HELL LOR. CCB. NO ONE EVER MADE ME SO PISSED OFF BEFORE SIA.

2010-08-28T23:58:00.002+08:00

Hello hello (:

I wonder if people still read this space! Heh. But hows everyone? :D

Been really busy with workkk and work and worrrrrrkkkkk. Warao, OT till 11pm siaaa. Siao times one thousand. But good pay good bonus so me no complains! :D

AND AWESOME NINJAS. WAH WAH WAH LOVE Y'ALL DEEP DIPZXZX MUACK! <3

and you. Though you won't see this, heh. <3<3

But I really miss NP. Fcking cb alot. My C02 girls. My polo teammies. Miss every single bit of it. ): Le sigh.

2010-05-31T22:57:00.001+08:00

Oh myyy, I haven't blogged here in eons! Too busy with work and whatnots! I'm happy! Heh, and blogging more frequently at another platform but hush hush for now :D

HAHAHAHHAAH ISN'T THIS JUST HILARIOUS! :D I was damn bored during my last day of work at B&J I think! I miss my ice creams and the slack ttm work there!!! I miss my SORBET SPLASHHHH! ):

Ok, got to go to bed HAHAHAHAHA DAMN LAZY TO BLOG OKTHANKSBAI.

2010-04-19T14:31:00.002+08:00

She's just damn fcking pretty. Beautiful. Aesthetically stunning. Omgosh. Go google Effy Stonem images. SIGH. Sucks to look like shit.

Just bought brown contacts. Do I look weird in them? Cause usually I use green blue or grey. Hardly brown cause I look abit zombie-ish in them! >:

And I realised I haven't blogged in ages! Nothing interesting in my life. AHHHH, but on another note, I AM GOING 'HOME' FOR TWO CONSECUTIVE WEEKS! :D:D:D Will update agai soon!

2010-04-10T22:57:00.002+08:00

Totally FML. Two things happen in a row to make my day so fcking awesome. Second one most imba, my previous workpay is so pathetic despite missing trainings after trainings for it. They said attendance incentives are given according to management's discretion. Fang pi! I always fcking early for work la knnb just cause I quit after two weeks you deny me of my extra incentives. Bullshit sia. Ccb. SIGHS. Sure sucks to be me sometimes.

Sigh sigh sigh sigh. As the day approaches, I feel more and more like some fcking lost sheep. I don't know what to do where to go from here on. Applied for the CPF job and went for interview but still not very optimistic thanks to one totally fail-answer to one of their questions and my age. Like everyone there seems so fcking old and I'm like 19goingon20? I'm like such a greenhorn! >: Sigh. How now?

2010-03-29T00:41:00.002+08:00

Is it not quite true? Its hella true for me. Everything in my life seems so stagnant so boring so.. going nowhere. How, boring until I don't even know what to blog about. Oh gosh. BIG SIGHS. So I shall insert a retarded picture of me...

Ok bai. Damn retarded. Will update when I feel more like it.

2010-03-22T00:05:00.002+08:00

Omg, my life truly sucks. And so if you guys don't already know, I left my job at Haji Lane after 2 weeks. Life at Haji Lane ain't as glamourous as you guys think it is. Argh. Whole day spent steaming clothes, hanging them, taking them out and folding them and tagging them. If the clothes are really awesome, I'd do them in a heartbeat with no hesitation but gosh, I don't have the passion for clothes which I think look just merely all right and cost 50 dollars. Dude, I wanna work in the fashion industry, not be a freaking lies factory. I'm not gonna try to promote something that I myself don't feel that hyped up about.

And with that, yes, I'm back to just plain ol' B&J. Applied for more jobs, such as CPF Building with AWESOME PAY but obviously not the field that I want. BUT STILL, HOW CAN ANYONE(ESPECIALLY A DIPLOMA GRADUATE LIKE ME) REFUSE 1.8K A MONTH WITH CPF? :D Let's just see where that goes. But major stupidity on my part, I applied for this media shit and totally forgot about it and didn't check my professional email thinking the whole time that I'm such a loser who will never be able to break into the industry of my dreams and today when I checked my email I realised they replied me and granted me an interview on the 16TH WHICH IS TMD 6 DAYS AGO! FML! >: So I sent them a deeply apologetic email and hope they'd give me a chance. PRAY FOR ME!

And with Haji now a sorry part of my past, I've been attending trainings. Competition is just a few days away its scary. Actually, not really. Just a tad saddening 'cause after all it will be my last. Weirdly while I've been waiting my whole Polytechnic life for this chapter to close but now that it is the last one, I feel apprehensive. Looking ahead, I could have my dream nails, complexion and skinny frame back but I would miss all the laughter tears and joy. If only I could have it all. >:

And so studies is a pretty much a done deal since university is not gonna be anytime soon, work is in the process of getting, having a ball with my friends, what about love? Oh fuck love, I'd say. Since everyone is this world is fucking sadistic and like to play mindgames(I think I do too, unintentionally. Or do I?), I am just gonna see where life takes me. Ok, ALL ABOARD!

2010-03-07T00:14:00.003+08:00

And so if you don't already know, today was KNNB FUCKED UP! I went to work super duper early, like 45 minutes early and my colleague who was supposed to already be there only came at the time I was supposed to start work, 2pm. And mind you I was wearing the NewLook dress with 3quartersleeves and today's weather is as per usual FUCKING HOT. AND HAJI LANE IS NOT A SHOPPING CENTRE, IT DOESN'T COME WITH AIRCON. So after waiting so long, the girl finally came, and OMG, she said, "I FORGOT TO BRING MY KEYS." My face went from, 'ohgoshyayfinallygotaircon' to 'WHAT.THE.FUCK.YOU.MUST.BE.FUCKING.KIDDING.ME.' And so I had to loiter around Bugis Junction while I waited for her to go back to Yishun and get her keys. Tmd. And so we rushed to open the store and all and when 8pm came to close the store, we calculated the overall sales AND FUCKING GUESS WHAT?! APPARENTLY THERE'S MISSING MONEY OF 39.90. And most of the cash transactions was done by her. I only did the cash transactions for drinks ok don't come and tell me I sell those drinks until can shortchange till 39.90 lor fuck. WARAO. So we had to pay the amount that was shortchanged. TOTALLY WTF OKKKK. >: Eeeyer, so annoying.

Why do people make Love such a complicated thing. >: Like means like, why make yourself so miserable over something thats supposed to be beautiful and joyful? >: Why do we always fall in like/love with someone who doesn't like/love us and vice versa? Let Quek BIG SIGH together with you guys/girls. SIGHHHHHHHHHH. You see, if two people like each other and they fear that getting together would only hurt their friendship if the relationship should end badly, don't you think its a wasted assumption if through this precaution you guys are drifting apart? Am I making sense? Since no matter what this friendship isn't going to go any better, why not just give it a shot? If you never give it a shot, you never know how that relationship will blossom, yes? -sighs. In any ways, I wish all human beings all the best in their attempts to chase the girl/guy of their dreams.

I, Jolene Quek Wei Wei, shall now think of when AND WHERE I should go do my manicure, pedicure, facial and YEAH WHATEVER THAT MAKES ME HAPPY. HAHAHAHA! :D

2010-03-03T00:54:00.005+08:00

I have started working at Haji. First two days working there were pretty fine. Store just opposite Collage. Everyday just keep seeing people smoking outside only. >: Sian. Oh wells, hope time passes faster so that I'll get more used to the job. But there are lots of perks about working there.

Firstly, when I'm there I feel uber inspired to dress up. Like I won't feel like, "sian Singaporeans all like dress so simply, I look so out of place". But the people there, all one of a kinds. The weather nowadays can be tmd hot but they still can wear until damn nice. And its not those just one Topshop or whatever. But more like, local designers you know those very effortlessly put together look? Like whoa. I'm gonna people watch more often when I work :D

Secondly, for the 2 days I've been there, I already encounter people coming in to loan items for fashion shoots and fashion spreads in magazines. LIKE WTF HOW COOL'S THAT? THATS LIKE MY DREAM JOB LA HELLO? Fashion Stylist siaaaaaa. Le sigh.

Thirdly, I get to know a lot more about the fashion industry in Singapore. I always had this mentality that the fashion industry is damn small in Singapore. But its not THAT small actually. Its just that local magazines tend to feature the same few designers and labels THATS WHY it SEEMS small. So cool la. And as they say 'beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder'. Soooo, different people got different perception on fashion so ohwells. Learning new terms about fashion and the management and what goes on behind the scenes of new stocks and producing LIKE OMG I'M JUST DUMPING WORDS EVERYWHERE BUT YOU GET WHAT I MEAN RIGHT? ;D

Thats why I always felt like if I ever want to do anything related to the fashion industry, I got to start somewhere. So thankful for this job. (: Gonna find out more and learn more and see how it goes. :D

Oh yes, if you guys wanna come visit me I'm at Mono + :D But I can't chill chill talk talk smoke smoke with you guys for too long cause I good employee. :D HAHAHA.

Hohoho, anyways tmr, eh wait, technically speaking its TONIGHT, will be awesome awesome with my kakis! :D BUTTER BUTTER BUTTER! And before that, its tanning with BFF again. AWESOME NOTS? <3

/edit.

OMFG HOW CAN I FORGET ONE MORE PERK!

CUTE GUYS LIKE WTF SAY YEAH! :D heeheehee ^^v

2010-02-28T00:44:00.002+08:00

Having 'The Only Exception' by Paramore on repeat. Its making me feel so fucking emotional right now. So fucking insecure, a million thoughts buzzing around in my head, fucking me upside down.

I wish I..

had skinnier arms
had skinnier legs
was taller
didn't have fucked up complexion
wasn't so fucking tanned to the extent it looks black
had slimmer fingers
had slimmer feet
had bigger eyes
nicer hair
had abs
was rich
could do whatever I want without anyone judging me, stopping me
could tell you everything but I don't dare to and its fucking killing me

-closeeyesanddeepbreathes.

"Well, maybe I know somewhere

Deep in my soul

That love never lasts

And we've got to find other ways

To make it alone

Or keep a straight face

And I've always lived like this

Keeping a comfortable distance

And up till now, I had sworn to myself

That I'm content with loneliness

Because none of it was ever worth the risk

I've got a tight grip on reality

But I can't let go of what's in front of me here

I know you're leaving in the morning when you wake up

Leave me some kind of proof its not a dream

Well, you are the only exception.

And I'm on my way to believing. "

Makes me just wanna scream and cry at the same time.

2010-02-23T01:15:00.002+08:00

To all my friends,

I hope you never lose your sense of wonder,
You get your fill to eat but always keep that hunger,
May you never take one single breath for granted,
God forbid love ever leave you empty handed,
I hope you still feel small when you stand beside the ocean,
Whenever one door closes I hope one more opens,
Promise me that you'll give faith a fighting chance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.

I hope you never fear those mountains in the distance,
Never settle for the path of least resistance,
Livin' might mean takin' chances but they're worth takin',
Lovin' might be a mistake but it's worth makin',
Don't let some hell bent heart leave you bitter,
When you come close to sellin' out reconsider,
Give the heavens above more than just a passing glance,
And when you get the choice to sit it out or dance.

I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
I hope you dance....I hope you dance.
(Time is a wheel in constant motion always rolling us along,
Tell me who wants to look back on their years and wonder where those years have gone.)

Dance like no one's watching. (:

2010-02-20T09:43:00.002+08:00

Shitttt, really still got nothing much to update! ): Sheesh, my life that boring nots? Today was supposed to be all fun and stuff with AmandaMAK, FleaFlyFloFun and PercyJackson BUT SHE LAST MINUTE CANNOT MAKE ITTT! MAJOR SADZXZX OHGHEYS): LOGAN LERMAN MUST WAIT FOR MEEE! :B

Meet my B&J friend, AmandaWANG :D Teehee, all Amandas I know such nice people oneezxzx! :D The whole duration of work yesterday was peppered with gossips and laughters. :D Awesome! Plus MattBFF finally came to look for me during work BUT, sadly he lost his wallet in the whole process. Well I hope everything's fine now for him BUT THEN AGAIN SOMEONE GOT T ALREADY HORZXZX? :D GOT T OTHER STUFF ARE PEANUTS ALREADY :D Hehheh. So now how? My next week is INCREDIBLY EMPTY AND BORING AND GAHHH. Anyone with any bright ideas? ):

2010-02-14T23:32:00.004+08:00

Just talked to Matthew BFF, I feel so damn happy for him :D All's well ends well. Got me thinking about myself too. Sometimes I think I am like, really weird. I like people, who are not that into me. Yet I am oblivious to people who like me. Or so I think they do. But you get my drift, no? And what makes me a tad weirder than most people is that, when I find out the person that I like, likes me too? I back away. For what reasons, I HAVE NO FCKING IDEA. Its not that I am playing some stupid mind games. I guess, maybe I am just afraid? I don't know. Tell me who I am, cause I myself don't know who I am. I don't know what I want. I don't know, I don't know, I don't know. Maybe I have no balls, maybe I am a retard, maybe maybe maybes. I hate and know that its mean to cut off contact with someone whom I THINK likes me, but thats just what I do. Time and time again. ): -sigh. There's something wrong with me, ain't it?

Ahhhh. Now come to think of it, I sure am some weirdo. Got things to 烦, will 烦 about those things. Nothing to 烦, I will 烦 about why is it I so sad life, to the extent that I have nothing to 烦 about.

Tell me, not called 自找麻烦, call what? ):

2010-02-11T20:11:00.002+08:00

Life's good, life's good, sorry I haven't been updating in awhile. From the VERY occasional party to working to hanging out with friends, I'm good now that school's unofficially over for me(: Happy happy! And I'm all ready for CNY! OMG, can't wait to wear me new clothes! HAHAHA! :D Seriously, I got nothing much to update(:
Oh yes, know what's a douche? YOU're a douche. Fcktard.

ANYWAYS, I've decided to skip a year. Am not gonna apply for Uni this year. Gonna take a break from school, seeing that I've found a job anyways. See where it takes me! WISH ME LUCK! <3

2010-01-30T23:29:00.003+08:00

Doubt I'll be posting any pictures of myself anytime soon. Lately I don't know why but I've been feeling so fugly. :<
I can't believe I am at this stage right now. This overwhelming feeling that just won't go away. It was so hard to finally get over someone and now it starts all over again. Just a whole new person thats all. Fuck it. Seriously I don't wanna go back to the same shithole but I'm like quarter way there already. AHHH OMG. :<

I feel so insecure, so miserable, so upset, so demoralised, so fcking ugly. And the best part of it all? I can't do shit about it.

2010-01-24T11:37:00.002+08:00

Everything seems better in 2010(: Yesterday was weirdly enjoyable with the company of the RafflesCity gang. We didn't do much but all the conversations were epic-ly funny! Supposed to catch Daybreakers but couldn't because Reeta and I had to leave early): Shitzxzx am I like not fated to watch it or something? Thursday was lack of seats, yesterday was because of the timing. IDFC, I HAVE TO WATCH IT!):

Now I'm left with 2 weeks of polytechnic life. Hmmm, such a bittersweet affair. One moment you can't wait for it to come because FINALLY you can have a break from the insane assignments but then again, once you're out its like, full of uncertainty for the future. Gahh. So where do I go from there? Hahaha. Nevertheless, I'm still gonna try for my NTU(: and hopefully in between all that, I'll find my way :D Here's wishing everyone AN AWESOME SUNDAY <3

2010-01-16T13:10:00.002+08:00

Life's good, so good that I haven't been updating in forever. :D 2010 sure kept to its promise of being awesome. HAHA. Graduating in 3 weeks time, its scary! But I can't wait to see what I would go on to accomplish. AHHH.

And so, we finally secured a Gold in NTU 3v3. May be a minor competition but it shows us we do have what it takes :D Go go GO Team Devlin! :D SPCPOC, we will be able to show everyone else!! :D

I'm happier. :D So busy with chionging all the assignments and whatnots to think about other things. And once I graduate, I'm gonna work hard towards what I want to do next time. Crossesfingers I'll make it. :D
Ok, not much to update. Gotta go get ready forrr, IDK WHAT HAHAHA! OK bai.

2010-01-05T01:11:00.002+08:00

There's something in the air in the wee hours of the morning that makes me feel, sad. You know how sometimes the one thing that you should turn your back on is the same thing that you always look back at? I can't understand why I would want to keep looking back at things that would only hurt me. Its cold and unrealistic. And I can't stop sighing. Tell me how to be happy again. Take the exhaustion from my face, the sadness in my eyes. Take it all away. If need be, take those memories from my mind. Its like a computer getting a virus, everything thats left in fragments and you can't quite make out the whole picture. This is a mistake. I should be starting the new year on a clean slate. Why does it feel like 2009 again? Why do I feel like the exact same girl who's wanting to cry into her pillow and punch the walls?

-closeeyes&deepbreathes. Ok I'm off to bed. -mumbles. Tomorrow's going to be good.

2009-12-31T21:10:00.004+08:00

Approximately 58 minutes to the New Year, looking back on this horrid 2009 I am so glad its going going gone. Forever a part of history. Cross fingers 2010 will be good.

My dear Devlins, this year wasn't that good for us either hur? Some many things happened, some of which I am absolutely sure hasn't been resolved yet, now the usual attendance of our team is what, 4? ): Saddd cans. But I hearts you guys soooo much :D I hope 2010 will be awesome for all of us(:

Fanghui:

Be strong cap'n! :D Sorry if I scared you during HCC when I got all choked up and had a mental breakdown. STOP WORKING SO MUCH and go eat Crystal Jade LMXLB with meee! :D:D:D

Tan Shunshun:

There was a period of time that we all felt sad and angry for you because of a certain someone, but right now I am just happy that you are happy. :D Youuu are soooo kewtzxzx! :D:D:D Love you teammate with the heart as big as her biceps PHOOEY YOOO!

CorinneOng:

HOTBABE HOTBABE, please don't think so much already. We all love you like (*&^%$#$%^&* so stop blocking us out and let us in again! I miss all the times we hang out together and have heart to hearts. Koi bubbletea sometime soon?(:

Cara Zhang:

ZHANG MEI PEI! :D Forever my unintended emo buddyzxzx, since year one right, we always like emo together. YOU! Will find someone who loves you for who you are and is not too LAZY to make damn sure you know it(: L4D soon ohgheys Zhang! :D

TIQTIQQQ! / GF:
❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤❤

That should be sufficient to explain our relationship HAHAHA! Thank you for all the advice and perk me ups, YOU ARE THE BOMBZXZX! LOVE YOUTO DEATHH! Thai Express and Cold Rock SOONSOON!

Well, 2009 was a shitty year but I gained a brotherrr :D Benson Ngggg! :D So glad to have you as my brother! Super fun person to hang out with! Bring Siewhui and me for mega big half boiled eggs soon ohgheysss! :D:D:D I also wish 2010 to be the most awesome one for you!

HONGCHOPING MY ONLY MALE BFF! :D The only other guy whom I'd say I LOVE YOU TOO! :D Thanks for listening to me everytime I whine, whenever I feel like the entire sky is crushing down on me(: I couldn't ask for a better bestfriend! :D Love you to bits and hope you find someone special soon! Stay strong too ohgheys BFF :D 2010 FTW!

I don't know if I should put you up here but I thought, why not? After all, you were the one who affected my 2009, making it one of the years that I look back and just, idk sigh? But its okay, I am a strong girl like what you said in 2007, I can make it through. Well, at least you taught me what Love shouldn't be like. It shouldn't have to hurt all the time. Sometimes I look at others and wonder why don't I ever have the balls to just really be mad at you for the shit you made me go through after 2nd March. Seriously 2 months was all it takes? Thanks. But ohwells, I'll be mature. Well, I'm happy that you're happy now(really?) and last long with Nicole yeah? Treat her well and have a good 2010!

Jane Ho Wen Jing:

You, are a superwoman. I really think you are. I think I know why your boobs are so huge already. Cause all those heartache and troubles you face in life, you keep keeping them in! This year I think I saw a little of the real Jane. Not the ditzy ditzy girl that everyone sees, but the girl who worries, who loves everyone around them and her Jappo(: Teammate and hotbabe, I really want 2010 to be awesome for you ohgheys! Devlins should shower more love on you I reckon! Somemore you the youngest! Oh Janeee! <3>

AmandaPanda AH MAN DUHHH:

You are my special junior! Maybe cause we're born like what, 1month apart?( I too lazy to really go count the days HAHA!) thats why we are able to click quite well(: I kinda forgot what made us bond so well together, but I sure am glad we did! You are such a nice girl, strong one at it and I'm sure 2010 will be LEGEN- WAIT FOR ITTTTT- DARY! :D

Jolyn Ng / Twinnieeee:
SKINNY BIATCHHH! :D So amazing hurhur, we only got to know each other for such a short time but you made it past a whole list of people and got to the top too(: Its so so wonderful how another person can be so similar to you you know and it gets so scary so frightening but relieved and happy at the same time. Clubbing, suntanning and shopping! :D Oh goshhh! The similarities seem endless! Whipped cream lover too! :D I hope you and Kenneth last long too ohgheys! :D I love you! :D

Last but not least, how can I ever forget, Shu Hui / BFF No. 1:

You. Oh. My. God. You. How do I ever start to describe just how awesome you are. :D Sweet, smart, cheery, bubbly, HOT, SHUSEXY, HAHAHA! Just too many to describe! One thing that I am majorly glad from 2009 was I really got so much closer to you because of R. If you ask me if all the shit that happened after R was worth it I'd say HELL YES because Shuhui was there for me all the time. Everytime I cried, everytime I felt like the earth was gonna open up and swallow me whole, she was the one, who never failed to be there to use her fats to bribe the earth to close back up and spit me out :D Always so protective of me, ever ready to spew Boomer bile on anyone who would so much as hurt me, YOU ARE SO AWESOME OH MY GODDD! ❤ Jacky Yen better treat you good and not make you cry so much else I be Tank and start going mad on him! Make sure he die fast! TSKK! BFF 2010 WILL BE GREAT! I LOVE YOU MOST! :D:D:D:D:D:D

And with that, I hope I will be happy in 2010. Happy. So simple, yet the hardest to attain. -deepbreathes, ok 2010, I am ready for you(:

2009-12-28T00:24:00.002+08:00

Just a quick quick update. Went for the annual Christmas dinner with the entire extended family today. I think I just gained 20pounds or something from all the mash potato, pies, turkeys, hams and whatnots. Fcking full now but all worth it. Knowing my digestive system, everything will be out by tomorrow morning. Or maybe even later.

Tomorrow steamboat with the other Devlins at Yinteng's! Food food food, I'm kinda sorta getting sick of it. WHICH IS GOOD, judging from the amount I eat is like equivalent to the entire population of Africa's! \: Gahh.

Harrow Shunshun(: We ish pweetiezxzx lyk datzxzx :D:D:D Anyways, am glad am glad if you see my entry below I wanted to get a few things done AND I DID HOFCKINGRAY! :D Eyelash extensions touch up done, new dress for Wednesday, TOTALLY YEAH :D:D:D Sho nice ohgheys am so happy with my buy :D See the pictures of it on FB when Shuhui uploads them after Wednesday. SPEAKING OF WHICH, I MISS MY BFFs! ): MatthewHong and SiewShuhui! JoleneQuek SOS to both of you prease!): -pouts.

PS: How can you say that you have no time for the team when you obviously still have time for other things. }: Why did you give up when we haven't?

2009-12-25T18:36:00.002+08:00

Once again, I got so upset after finding out some stuff. knnbccb. :<>

Sooo, I need to do so many things man!\: Need my manicure pedicure, touch up my eyelash extensions, look around for a nice dress for this coming Wednesday(seems so long since I bought a new outfit for clubbing HAHA!) and and, I'll think of more as I go. And oh yes, I watched Where the Wild Things are on my laptop AND HELL YEAH I WANNA GO AS MAX FOR HALLOWEEN NEXT YEAR! "Let the rumble begin!!!" :D:D:D

2009-12-24T17:54:00.002+08:00

(: HOHOHO Merry Christmas Eve people! Seems like so long since I blogged siol! Last week was major chiong assignments week, am sofa king glad thats over nao! :D But I've been feeling so tired and sleepy lately, I can't seem to feel refreshed! And I fcking hate playing L4D2 for a long period of time cause it makes me feel like puking, bleah. ): BUT WOOO I CAN'T WAIT FOR NEXT WEEK, I NEED TO PARTY HARDDDD! :DDDD

Alas, guess what. B&J at Great World had a blackout like AH MAY ZING ohgheys. Till I ended my shift the power was still out, so imagine all the dry ice we had to use before the management came with the idea of using the plug outside KNNB. Say earlier la make me and Johanna panic only. Wanted to have XLBs for lunch but TMD CrystalJade LMXLB also blackout all the chefs chilling one korner. Bleah life sucks. ): So anyways, I'm feeling a little sleepy again. Gonna nap nao before doing whatever my family has planned for tonight. Have yourself a Merry Christmas babies! :D:D:D:D

2009-12-15T00:05:00.002+08:00

Shucks, 'All the right moves' is like stuck in my head like a broken record player. But I refuse to download the song. \: I don't know why either. Anyways, all girls should seriously check out F21 @313. ITS FCKING AWESOME 4 LEVELS OF GOODNESS! I bought a maxi dress for 28 bucks FCKING CHEAP CHEEP! :DDD

Anyways, my days have been just non stop project project project UBER FCKING SIAN): Still got RD stuff to settle on top of all the IEP rubbish and AYC and AMPYC and what nots.): So mtherfcking sad please. I want my life back. Trying desperately to squeeze work in as well lest I got no money to spend. Gahhh. I miss training too, weirdly enough HAHAHAH FANGHUI DON'T KEEL ME! But owells. Something to definitely look forward to? Tomorrow. (: Work and then meet RafflesCity people :D Then its back to project project projecttttttt. FML.

2009-12-13T00:12:00.001+08:00

Omgahh so cute my next bf must do that for me :D HAHAHA!

2009-12-12T01:00:00.002+08:00

Finally, a much deserved break :D I'm happy happy! But then, when I am just starting to relax, I am also falling sick. Totally FML. Shoulda coulda be clubbing partying hard nao but noooo, I'm home. -sulks. ): Nehmind! Wednesday hurhur Shuhui BFF! Ready steady pom pee pee! :D:D:D

Harrow Julie! :D Hehheh! Random photo of the day again! LOL(: Aren't you gladdd we got each other to bitch to! :D Anyways, tomorrow I'm gonna be at Sand Toh Saaaaa with Siew and Ng! :D CAN YOU SPELL AWESOME? THAT'LL BE J-O-L-E-N-E! YAYYY! HAHAHAHA! :D And with that I give you zzzzzzzzzz, BAI! :D

2009-12-06T15:30:00.002+08:00

"Mmm whatcha say?
Ooh that you only meant well?
Well of course you did
Mmm Whatcha say?
Mmmm that it′s all for the best?
Of course it is
Mmm Whatcha say?
That it's just what we need,
You decided this.
Whatcha say?
What did she say?"

Hide and Seek, Imogen Heap.

There's the remix by Jason Derulo which is good! Heard it on Gossip Girl's latest episode. Interesting lyrics hur? Will be back for proper update soon, bai.

2009-12-04T02:56:00.002+08:00

Just started savoring my new age, and I'm doing that by doing my fcking assignments. Gah. How fcking sad. ): Supposed to concentrate and all but I have to write this down now.

Was on FB and I saw this note by Lin, as in she found it somewhere on deviantart which I thought was, well WHOA. Click Please go and read it. After which, this is what I think.

Do you realize this is something that is constantly happening? ): Why? During the start of the relationship, they can promise anything. Promises to give, promises to accept, promises to always be there. And we, always so stupid and naive. Always believing. And it always turns out the same. We are always left right at the same spot, looking back and wondering just what happened. The same person, but just not so similar to the one from the past anymore. And you would give anything to have it back, you know its highly not possible, but you still hope something perhaps a miracle could happen and things would go back to how they used to be. But most of the time, miracles just don't happen. Why? Why make promises you can't keep? And after breaking those promises, you go on to others and make the same promises, what's the use? You're still going to be breaking them in the end. Sigh. Now you know why I'm so cynical and adamant that that concept of Love just don't tally with reality. Because it just, doesn't. And we have all these living proof around us to constantly remind us. Don't fall back into that shithole, Quek. Don't.
I foresee another day without sleeping, zzz. Left with a little more of the analysis and I'm done. Oh wait, there's still the presentation part. And then tomorrow will be out watching New Moon with AHMANDUH and then partyy at Phuture with all the awesome clubbing kakis! My doors are open to the word FUN :D Hoorayyy! :D:D:D Can't wait for holidays to comeee! Ok bai.

2009-11-28T15:44:00.003+08:00

OMG, I'm starting to feel excited. I'm gonna apply to be an intern at _____ or ______. Not gonna say where here cause if I don't get it I'm gonna be so depressed cause its like my dream job kinda thing and I will totally just die of depression!))): We'll see we'll see (: Thanks Macy Love you bigtime <3> AHHH EXCITING PART 2: I'm partying next Friday to celebrate me turning Nine-fcking-teen! The last year as a teenager! I swear All Hell Break Loose in year 2010 as a very very extremely old teenager(: I'm gonna do things purely cause I wanna do them and not because some fcker tells me it is the right thing to do :D Weeee cheers to the life I want! :D:D:D

/edit.

Eh heh heh, just in case there are some nice kind souls out there who want to buy me presents I'll love you many many :D Like how I'd loveeee to have whut, eyelash extensions fund, that grey Topshop blazer, a new bag of which the design I haven't thought of but I heard KateSpade has awesome designs :D HAHAHA, aiya forget it everything I want is so expensive )))))))): Saddddd. OH GREY CONTACTS! Or maybe tattoo fund? :D Ok thnks bai.

2009-11-26T03:01:00.002+08:00

Its 3:05 in the morning and I'm still up doing my fucking assignments. And with a hellload of stuff on my mind. Sometimes you think that when you are so up to your neck with commitments you're sure the big guy up there won't give you anymore shit to deal with but then He just proves you wrong but giving you situations that you just got to deal with them or at least clog your mind with. Assignments are aplenty this semester that I don't think I can pause to breathe after one cluster is gone because once I inhale, I'm up to my nose in them. Despite the fact that schoolwork is pretty stressful, I made the decision to stay on and play with ~~the team~~ what is left of it. It was like a, 'damned if I do, damned if I don't' kind of situation. You have to do something about the situation but if you do, it won't be a very pretty sight. Well but it wasn't exactly a pretty sight to begin with anyways. \: So after you do something to the lose-lose situation, you feel so utterly upset that things had to go the way that it did but you just gotta suck it up. Cause life is, well, like that? I mean, come on, I should know. I, the very least, seriously should know how it feels. I just don't know what to do about it anymore. It has been dragging and dragging and when is it coming to an end? So so tired about the whole thing. There isn't any use in hiding your emotions cause nobody's gonna make your life better if they can't seem to understand how you feel and what you want. You have to let us know, cause we are afterall a team. -sighs. Really don't know how else to continue this topic anymore.

GWC B&J has a new manager in charge, now I gotta work more too lest I lose my jobbb\:

And lately I have been drinking alot of coffee. Maybe a little too much. So much that I went ahead and got a Starbucks tumbler. Good shit, I'm bringing coffee to school everyday now. But there's only so much that coffee can do. Can it keep me awake to make all the right decisions that probably do as little hurt/harm to the people around me? \: Sigh. Only 18 and life's already fulloshit.

PS - Being deprived of sleep sure makes me cynical hur? Sorry if this post doesn't make much sense. I am so not getting sleep tonight and I have lessons at 9 later and work after my lessons. Awesome much? Feel so much like crying now. SIGHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHHH.

2009-11-22T10:53:00.002+08:00

I feel sorry for you that all the decisions you make, seem to be out of some other people's head. Is your brain seriously that puny that you have to let other people's opinions affect your judgement? Who cares what other people think as long as you yourself know what you want? In the end when you heed their advice and down the road you realise that that's not exactly what you want, who are you gonna pin the blame onto? No one else but yourself, cause you're so fucking dense. People who don't use their brains should seriously perish in hell. Go and fucking die fucker. Sheesh.

2009-11-19T23:15:00.002+08:00

So full of fatigue these days. Can't seem to push my stamina to the limit to do my assignments till late): 3 assignments which I've yet to complete, I need helppp!): Tomorrow Imma meet BFF to complete them at Starbucks after IEP(: IMY BFF!!! <3

Today was rather horrid. Boarded the bus at around 1pm, supposed to reach CoronationPlaza latest by 2pm so that I could chill at Starbucks and get some work done but NOOO, rain had to start pouring and stuff. I FCKING SWEAR I TOOK ALMOST HALF AN HOUR TO GET FROM NANYANG GIRLS' TO NATIONAL JC AND THEY ARE FCKING NEXT TO EACH OTHER. It was that bad\: So I was feeling cold and hungry and cursing and swearing with no idea what happened. Gahh. When I finally reached Coronation's Starbucks I immediately ordered the venti PeppermintMocha. BIGASS CUPPA! :D Shiokkkk ttm! (:

Anyways, really glad with my Napfa results(: NP Canoeists FTW! <3

2009-11-15T00:25:00.002+08:00

Can anyone spell 'trudat'? -sighs. Sidenote, am gonna run in school tmr alone before going to do IEP at KAP! So chiong hurhur? Only doing that because next week's Napfa. Argh.

Random webcam picca with my classmate! :D LOL, another sidenote Imma get myself real geeky specs soon, together with the degree lens and all that thingmajiggys((: ANYWAYS IM SO SAD NOW CAUSE MY ITCHY FINGERS WENT TO TAKE OUT MY TRAGUS STUD AND NOW IT CANT FUCKING GO INNNN! ))))))))))))))))): MAJOR SADZXZX! KILL ME NAOZXZX!

2009-11-11T14:18:00.002+08:00

Hola, back here for some Midweek updates. As per usual, past few days have been one helluva rollercoaster. Won't dwell too much on them details cause they are some what personal. Guess I got to DEAL WITH IT. Sigh.

Lighting at B&J GWC is good, for camwhoring! (: HAHHAA.

So anyways, I finally got my tragus pierced and it was FCKING PAIN LA JOLYN NG! Bluff me only HAHAA! Officially the most painful piercing I had. But since I already had that done, HMM HELL BRING ON THAT TATTOO I SAY :D

Once again, as of always, I also got my nails done. :D I'm so sad. Sad person, so insecure about myself I gotta keep finding ways to seem more decent. ))): FML.

And so enough about my life stories in chapters and subheadings, now on to the 2 assignments! Toodles for now.

2009-11-07T23:18:00.002+08:00

Harrow. -sighs. ): So much to say, but no longer able to. Go watch HIMYM Season 4 Episode 6, much food for thought.

So so tired, still ): This week has been power packed! Filled to my neck with assignments, cramming in work and meeting friends. Enjoying all the ice cream and meeting friends but definitely not the assignments part! Too darn stressed! Training today, thankfully the sun ain't that hot else I'll be melting into the pool! Nah just kidding, probably turn blacker though -.-

I chose my current blogsong for a reason yeah?

2009-10-31T22:08:00.002+08:00

Physically and mentally. Weather's been bitchy lately. Plus everyday seems to bring brand new revelations. Makes me feel sick of living. Seriously considering putting partying on hold cause its drains me financially and physically and mentally and emotionally. Slept for 3 hours and trained till 4plus and only got home now. Oh me gosh fucking shag is me. Need to clear some stuff of my To Do List but guess Imma do that tomorrow. Too exhausted to focus on anything now.

"If she's amazing, she won't be easy. If she's easy, she wont be amazing. If she's worth it, you won't give up. If you give up, you're not worthy."

Once again, found this. She machiam some meaninfulquotes.tumblr.com! Pretty much self explanatory hur? Bah.

Alrighty, gonna crash now. Happy Halloween world!

2009-10-28T22:56:00.002+08:00

Surprisingly today was rather bearable. I think I kinda enjoyed today(: After feeling down in the dumps for awhile, its good to smile(: Lessons were as per usual a big bore. Handed in my first assignment of the semester, so stupid gahhh.

Had an AWESOME DINNER with my captain!(((: CrystalJade LMXLBed and Frolicked :DDD Full like fuck, walked around HollandV, bumped into Joshua and back home it wasss! I think I know why it seems like I eat so fucking much but I still thankfully remain somewhat the same size. I seem to have straight intestines! After one hour, I totally ALWAYS feel like shitting((: GOODY GOODY! :D

Taken yesterday, while I was feeling all moody and grouchy\: Shall not think, shall not think. Back to Gossip Girl! Baizxzx.

2009-10-26T23:12:00.002+08:00

There is just nothing left to be said, worth saying. I really just, don't see the point in doing so anymore. All I know is that we will forever be a regret in my life. I will always be looking back, and sighing simultaneously. I don't know what can ever make me happy anymore, don't ask me what I want. Cause I know that even you, will no longer suffice. Every emotion that I've experienced throughout these days, just don't measure up with the happiness you used to bring me. I really want to be happy. Do you think I relish being so fucking sad everyday? Fucking hell no. But thanks to you, I think I definitely matured alot in my thinking. Hopefully the day that I can truly smile again, will come soon(:

2009-10-25T00:07:00.003+08:00

When I looked through the website, this picture just screamed to me. How true. Happy. Seems so difficult to achieve):

"You see, the ones who laugh the loudest and give the best smiles are those who’re actually crumbling right inside every moment. Don’t be fooled by their megawatt smiles and twinkling eyes, because right behind that, is a face filled with scars, cuts, bruises and tears. A facade no one has ever imagined. So, don’t be too quick to judge. Because what you see might not necessarily be true."

Saw this somewhere, I would love to credit but gotta respect her I don't know if she's comfortable with me revealing her here so if you see this here, thanks(: Its so so true. Looks, are fucking deceiving.

So tired these days, I think its all the lack of sleep starting from HCC, accumulating and overlapping. Assignment due next Wednesday, gonna start and finish it tomorrow! Need to work quite badly!\: Need new clothes, new everything, I'm so insecure. Other than my assignment, I'm going to paint my nails, try to do my Chanel design! :D Hmm, at least something to look forward to, no? Time passes so fast sometimes. So afraid of the unknown thats going to happen in the future): Oh crap, so tired that I'm sprouting gibberish. Am I making sense? Ok I'll shut it now. Baizxzx.

2009-10-23T00:05:00.002+08:00

You were my perfect geek, the perfect guy who loved the same movies and bands and songs. We could have it all... But somehow it all ended before it could start. I still wonder what happened. ):

2009-10-21T23:05:00.002+08:00

Back from Day3 of Semester2Year3, it has been a daze! Totally still sleepy most of the time I'm not even sure if I've been attending the right lectures and classes! LOL kidding obviously I did. Coincidentally, today is a Wednesday and right now a week ago I was getting high at OneFullerton. Oh how time flies)): Oneday I'll be back there getting high too, but not now I guess and not anytime soon. I wanna eat HK desserts at Chinatown oneday anyone? HAHA craving like mad since the weather is such a bitch these days all I can think about is cold cheng tng yummmy to the max! Can't believe I'm finally running tmr with Julie Ho! PLEASE DON'T PANGSEH ME AHHH! Today before I sleep I shall:

Print my notes for tmr's lectures
Paint my nails which are uberly cui now
Perhaps another mask? :D
Gotta stop thinking
pack my stuff for tmr(:

Right now my mind is too dazed and fatigued to think about you anyways.

2009-10-18T21:55:00.002+08:00

Everything just seems incredibly fucked for the past 3 days. Hottest Canoeist Camp was horrible. Mentally. Everyday shit just keeps happening. Right before school reopens somemore. So so tired of it. Sunday wee morning was the worst. All the shit accumulated just made me snap. Totally with tears pouring and numb fingers. Sobbing non stop, I only drifted to sleep at 4plus after FH listened. )): I knew I was broken, I just didn't know it was to that extent. Want you to know yet I know I couldn't, shouldn't. I can no longer find the correct words to describe just how hurt I am, how deep is this wound you've inflicted on me. Its so so sad. I'm, so so sad.

2009-10-13T00:53:00.002+08:00

I was feeling so hyped up about finally partying this Wednesday during work cause I was blasting clubhits all day long. Work today was awesome cause it was major slacking session with Lynette and Amanda. Oh I wish holidays were not ending so soon.

WHY?):

Sadly, all those happy thoughts vanished as fast as they got to my head. Once I was on the way home and the next track that played was 'Inevitable'. I just don't understand myself. Why do I always go back to the same spot when he's no longer there? Plus the fact that he hasn't been there for a long time. Its almost as though I enjoy making myself so miserable by keep visiting and dwelling in the past. Why can't I just, move on and keep walking. Why do I keep turning back? And everytime it gets to the point that I can never see myself loving another because I'd have this conclusion that no matter what happens, it would always have a bad ending. I seriously thought we were gonna live happily ever after. So did everyone else but look where it got me? Nowhere precisely, only hurt and disappointment. Look where he is now. I'm suffering, he's not. So seriously, what for? See what I mean. One minute I'm good. The next, I'm a emo psycho bitch. Sometimes I hate myself for thinking so much. I probably need more tetesterone so that I'll be like a guy and just move on and on and on. Fuck this shit, I'm going Kristin Cavallari this Wednesday and no one's gonna stop me. Bye bitches.

2009-10-05T10:10:00.003+08:00

You know what, I'm starting to get a little, teeny weeny bit pissed whenever people scorn at the fact that 'someone' clubs. SERIOUSLY, I don't see anything wrong in clubbing. Those people talk about it as though it is synonymous with the prostituting profession. Girls who club ARE NOT cheap and slutty. Sheesh, only SOME. Those who are gross and eww but NOT ALL. Its terribly unfair on those who are just looking to have a good time with their friends to be labelled as SLUTTY AND whatever negative labels you mountain tortoises have to stick on them. Half the time, these people are those WHO HAVE NEVER tried clubbing before and obviously don't know how fun it is. OR ELSE, perhaps they dance like freaks and are too scared to club so they always use the excuse that OH GIRLS WHO CLUB ARE SLUTS. Sheesh man, GROW SOME BALLS.

So if you're one of those who fervently comment that female clubbers are cheap blah blah blah, seriously, save it. It just goes to show HOW DENSE AND SUPERFICIAL YOU ARE. Peace out.

/edit.

Omg! Before I forget, I saw the cutest guy ever on bus 190 yesterday night! Ahhh, sk8r boi. :D Using same phone somemore, sweeeet!

2009-10-04T11:13:00.002+08:00

I am so sadddd. I dyed my hair to dark brown but nobody could tell the difference. ): Paid 35 bucks for it and people only notice my 5dollars fringe trim. FML. AHHH, but I thought there was a difference. I mean, ITS SO EFFING OBVIOUSSS!): Gahh.

My body is aching now, cause of yesterday's sprinting fest during training. Face and shoulder burnt, thanks to Friday's training. Tummy aching thanks to spicy food marathon yesterday. But I loveee yesterday's dinner with TanShunShun and LeowFangFang. HAHAHAHA! Crystal Jade LMXLB for dinner and Haato icecream for dessert. SO GOOD SO GOOOOOD. :D

Okok, I'm going off for lunch now. Be back sooon!

2009-10-01T22:48:00.002+08:00

(: Finally going for training tomorrow! I'm definitely missing my paddle and the boat and the water ooh la la! Worked today, spent hugeloads of moolah on food. Today I was spamming food like it was the end of the world tomorrow. I'm going to grow fat!): Then again, what am I saying. I AM FAT ALREADY. FML. Went for impromptu ManiPedi session again, together with trimming my fringe(: Awww life is good, until I smudged one of my nail's polish and discovered the hairdresser trimmed my fringe lopsided. WHOOP life sucks. I really freaking need a money tree, anyone wanna sponsor me money? HAHAHA, fuck that sounds lame. Alright. I wanna sleep already, don't wanna be late for training tmr. NIGHTYNIGHTS PEOPLE.

2009-09-29T21:21:00.002+08:00

Had a pretty good day today. Though I spent alot of transportation. Cab to and fro tskkk. Should probably exercise more self discipline me thinks. Caught The Ugly Truth with Ng, was awesome and funny and vulgar! Saw the cutest guy ever at Vivo's Topshop oh God someone save me!): HAHAHA. Think Imma go out and do something with my hair tomorrow, IDK who knows maybe I'll shave it off. My life is so sad and sianzx right now. Life, please surprise me. I don't mind a Peter Parker or a Zac Efron, whichever goes. (: Goodbye.

2009-09-29T00:31:00.002+08:00

Harrow! Here to update again! :D Hmm, but IDK what to update about. How about... me not clubbing for a week till 2 weeks? IDK have I told you that? Time for me to rest and chillax and relax whatever fuck. Give me skin some purity! So sad, everytime I xcore club my skin xcore dies like )): Time to shop for masks!

Lately I've been a little disappointed with my hair. Looks lacklustre and always tangled like fuck. Seriously, I can spot them split ends so easily! ): Been wanting to dye it back to black, since I have this golden/lightbrown for more than a year already. Should I? But I am still hesitating 'cause what if I like my lightbrown again how? Have to chiong dye again. TMD decisions decisions.

Got rid of my manicure colour. Surprisingly my nails are quite healthy.. looking. (: Bought a nail buffer shit and gave it away on the same day. HAHA, some angmoh saw me buffing my nails and got so fascinated he stopped me and asked me where I got it. So I gave mine to him. LOL. I can buy it anytime anyways! :D Such a nice Singaporean, he took a picture LOL!

Sigh, should I paint it gold, blue or nudish pink? Ahhhh, I really really like the gold, but the blue is cool BUT WHO CAN RESIST PINK! ^^v

GAHHH, off to bed naozxzx. So tired! Nights!

2009-09-27T18:02:00.002+08:00

Sometimes it makes sense, sometimes it doesn't. Sometimes I'm all fine and dandy, sometimes I just can't stop wondering. But I know I'll be fine. (: Someday, soon enough. I can feel it already.

Anyone else agrees that the first song on my blog playlist is just fcking awesome? Ahhh, ' Day N Nite' Crooker's remix is my instant get high fix before clubbing! :D Anyways after my 4 days FUN campaign, I abit the sianzxzx about clubbing already. Hence, me is taking a weeklong break! From alcohol, partying and stuff! Abstinence! :D But for Amanda Mak! I will club again on the 7th! Whoop whoop! ^^

Ok laaaa, I wanna take a nap! Or maybe play my Sims3! What I can't seem to accomplish in life now? My Gwen Ronson will accomplish for me! :D So fun to play God! (:

2009-09-21T09:56:00.002+08:00

I've always wanted us to go back to how we were last time. Not, as in together last time, but more of friends who can turn to each other kind. But we never could do that. And I don't know why.

But now, I know why. I no longer feel pain and hurt when I see you but I guess the fact remains that you, took my heart, tore it into mini mini itsy bitsy pieces and fed it to the sharks. Though we're friends now, or maybe acquaintances, but there's always this thing blocking us. Now we know.

OhMyGod, it sucks having a cough. Its so horrible. The phelgm is like,perpetually stuck in my throat! \: Tiny little bastards. Ok, gonna go get my coffee. Updates again later, bye!

2009-09-19T23:41:00.002+08:00

Something exceedingly terrible has happened. I feel so helpless right now cause apparently theres nothing I can do to salvage the situation. I mean, technically there is something I can do. But there is this incredibly huge and obstinate obstacle in the way that just refuses to budge. I tried my best to shift it away, but it remains the same. I really didn't mean for things to turn out this way but yet it did. I know its my fault, that I'm the one in the wrong. Which makes it all worse. ):

Anyways, today was poolslot with only 5 devlins. It was, well.. painful? 1 hour nonstop game. Omg, with no subs. Omg, my hands were like numb after it all. After that was L4D with Benedict, Leonel, Romeo, DicksonH, Lin and Shunli. Omg this time our team not so imba already. ): Cannot blame Shun and Lin also since they don't usually play. ): Ahhh. Not that I take things too seriously, but the fun thing about playing L4D is when you win. Right, Benedict? HAHAHA, the both of us just pek cek over there HAHAHA! But nehmind, we'll be zai again!

Fuckkk, I think I'm falling sick again. Two days of poolslot under the rain, well no literally, but still all wet and cold... hmm. Having the flu and sorethroat too. Bahh.

Sometimes, I really wished I could turn back time. I wish there was actually something I could do. I wish I could do what I want, with no regards to what others might think. And of course, without having to lie. It is just so tiring.